Where do broken hearts go? Like seriously! This is probably the most cliché of questions out there, made even popular by romantic movies we so love. Nowadays, the young ones are quick to resort to traveling as a means to heal from a bad breakup as if it is some kind of miracle pill. I bet you have the same thoughts too or the book you’re reading at the moment suggests that going on a trip somewhere faraway is a good idea. The notion of traveling to move on is all over the place that it’s so overused. But I think the more appropriate question is ”How the heck do you actually move on?” Is it really necessary to travel to heal from a breakup? Does moving on require seeing new places and meeting new people?
I’m no expert in this nor do I have the credentials to even talk about this subject. I was just compelled to write my point of view as this generation is so quick to take things at face value, instantly disregarding the technicalities. While traveling does have a lot of benefits, it doesn’t necessarily equate to being all okay after the trip. One cannot simply fly to some country and expect to return as if nothing happened. I mean, you can see as many countries as you want and still be a total wreck deep inside. On the contrary, you can just be sitting in your room, staring outside the window, looking at the same boring view and eventually get it all figured out.
Healing is not that easy, I know, but it’s not as complicated as to require you to spend a fortune for a trip that doesn’t guarantee your desired outcome either. But then again, I said that traveling does have its benefits. So before you even think of booking a ticket to some destination in your search for some sort of epiphany, here are a few things about traveling that you need to understand.
—To Travel Is To Be Vulnerable
Not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well. When we travel, we make ourselves susceptible to danger and various influences such as foreign traditions and beliefs. Being cautious is important but having your guards up all the time defeats the purpose of the trip as it would hinder real experiences, making you unable to fully appreciate it. You have to leave any inhibitions at home and allow yourself to live the moment since traveling is not just about seeing spectacular views and beautiful landscapes. It’s completely letting yourself immersed with the unknown and uncomfortable.
Notice that the best trips are the spontaneous ones? Because it is pretty limitless and anything is possible. No itinerary. No set of plans to follow. It’s just you and your heart leading you to moments that would change your life forever. Any excess baggage must be let go. With that said, you can’t be dealing with your inner turmoil while out there as that would only spoil the moment and will prevent you from truly appreciating what’s in front of you.
But I went on a trip to forget and move on, you said? You going on a trip is a mere distraction. To take things off your mind. To cool down. It is not the answer but rather an escape. Traveling is a great way to cool your head off and steer clear of the things that bothers you but certainly not the holy grail to moving on. The good thing is that it gives you a refreshed mind to face the reality and a brand new perspective on looking at things that could somehow help you in handling your dilemma.
—Traveling Challenges Us
When we open ourselves up to new things and experiences, it allows us to absorb and digest new information that tends to challenge everything that we already know so far. We are often overwhelmed and tempted to reject it as the surge of new found knowledge makes us uncomfortable. It’s not because we hate learning but we’re often embarrassed to know that we’re naive after all and that there could be tons of other things that we still do not know. It feels as if we have been cooped in a box for a very long time, already used to the darkness that seeing a ray of light peeking through a hole is blinding. Curiosity will then lead us to wondering what could still be out there and wanting to unravel it.
Traveling challenges us to get out of our comfort zone, to embrace the unfamiliar. It dares us to be bolder, to take that leap into the unknown. It may feel weird and confusing at first but when you finally step out of that box you have confined yourself in, you will realize that it’s liberating. You loosen up and start to grow. It still scares you but you become more welcoming to anything strange. You’re growing and that’s good as it will pave a way to many more challenges, broadening your horizon.
—Traveling Changes Us
Whenever we go on a trip, we become a little better of a version of our old selves every time. We keep growing the more we let ourselves learn new things. Unless we are too timid as to not let our guards down, we return a little less naïve than we once were. We may not notice it at first but we eventually will from the way we look at things to our new sense of self. Unconsciously, we’re morphing. It may not be the same for everybody but one thing is for sure. You’re never the same person once you have truly traveled.
So where does traveling play a part in moving on?
Being able to heal and move on is completely up to you. It requires confronting the most delicate part of your being and deeply feeling various kinds of pain. Pain of loss. Of rejection. Of helplessness. Of anger. Of being unable to forgive and forget. There’s no shortcut to healing as it is a tedious process that requires your full attention. Imagine yourself as a shattered glass with you trying to put every piece back together. You will cut and wound yourself and unless you keep going every time it happens, you will always be broken.
Traveling helps in a way that your gained knowledge and experiences grant you a myriad of different ways to look at your situation. After being confined in that small little box of your emotion, you’ll figure that you and your pain are but a tiny spec of the world we live in. Not that your pain doesn’t matter as it does, but this time, you know that there are far better things that require your attention and brooding over spilled milk will get you nowhere. You realize that unless you do something to mend your pain and put yourself back in one piece, you will miss out on a lot of good things life has to offer.
Again, it’s not easy. You will stumble and fall back to where you started. You’ll cry a lot because it will hurt big time but you just have to push through and believe that someday soon, you will be okay. Once you do, you’ll laugh the most hearty laugh you’ve ever had in a long time.
There you have it, lovelies! I tried to pour my heart into this piece as much as I could because I know exactly how excruciatingly painful heartbreaks and burning bridges can be. Not being able to move on is twice the torture. Let’s travel not to escape life but for life not to escape us. Can’t believe I’m using that quote. But truly. There’s unfathomable beauty out there that far encompasses your grief. Go find and see it. Until next time. Ciao!
