There are people, things, or experiences that are meant to scar us for life. There are scars that the eyes can’t see but they run deep and their pain is excruciating. And then there’s this pain out of something you couldn’t explain or find answers to, that questions have already piled up in your mind making everything worse. That’s exactly what my Kalinga/Batok tattoo is making me feel right now. It’s unsightly and imperfect. The more I see it every day, the more I’m reminded of the many whys, hows, and what’s building up inside my head. How the fuck did I end up with something irreversible. What did I ever do to deserve it? How can something so beautiful become so gross? And why does it have to be this worst?
It was the week before Christmas last year when I decided to finally see Apo Whang Od. I have been aching to pay her a visit for a long time and knowing I was about to make one of my ultimate wishes come true amped my excitement even more. It’s not every day that I get to interact with a legend, much to my delight, get tattooed by her in a traditional way (For those who didn’t know, the batok tattoo uses a traditional method and equipment. The needle used is the thorn of a pomelo plant and the ink is powdered charcoal mixed with water. Using the thorn attached to a rattan/bamboo handle, the ink is slowly inserted into the skin by gently hitting the thorn with another wood.)
At first, seeing the living legend was my only goal. I thought it would suffice just to get a close encounter with her but something in me was compelled to get a tattoo. Being a tattoo enthusiast myself, I thought not getting inked during my visit is going to be a missed opportunity of a lifetime so I hardened my resolve and decided I would get it for sure. Besides, I thought the new experience is going to be far worth the pain.
The journey to get to Buscalan was rough. I left Manila at 8 PM but it took me more than 20 hours just to get to the jump-off point. The trek to the village was not a joke either and I finally got to my homestay minutes before sunset. My host was very kind though. She had a lovely home. It was so immaculately clean. I think all the houses there are. I had a refreshing bath and a filling dinner. Before heading to lie down on my comfy bed, I took the time to gaze at the starlit skies with a cup of warm coffee in my hands. The night was freezing cold but I kind of loved it. My first night in Buscalan was so reassuring that I decided to stay for one more night. Honestly, I just hate leaving places in a hurry.
The next morning, my guide picked me up at 9 AM to see Apo Whang Od. My heart was throbbing with both excitement and nervousness. I’m usually the type who isn’t bothered by other people’s opinions but strangely enough, a part of me wishes I get Apo Whang Od’s approval, or at least, I don’t upset her. I heard people say that she became moody with age and that there were times when she refused to tattoo. I didn’t want that sort of spectacle so I prayed in silence hoping for the best and for Apo Whang Od’s wellness. We finally reached her house. It was empty. It was built of concrete. Simple but with a beautiful view of the mountains nearby. We waited for her for several minutes. Moments later, she emerged from the other house with her stuff. She was wearing traditional clothes, complemented by native accessories made of beads. She has a petite and frail-looking body but she has this strong commanding aura to her. She didn’t look happy at all.
But my worries were all for naught. I was first in line to get a tattoo and it went by so fast without a fuss. In fact, Apo Whang Od was cheerful and was exchanging banters with the other villagers. I didn’t understand what they were saying but it was kind of a relief to see her having a good time. It was even she who offered that we get photographed after. I just had her 3-dot signature tattooed on my right forearm near my wrist. Well, she doesn’t really work on other designs anymore. After I got my tattoo, I stayed just so I could witness the legend in action. Several minutes went by and her house was swarmed by people. I decided to leave then.
I went back to my homestay and rested for a bit. An hour later, I had another tattoo design done just above the tattoo made by Apo Whang Od. It was a fern, a symbol of fertility and health. I had it done by a young girl, my host’s daughter. Apparently, girls in the village were trained to do Batok tattoos to carry on with the tradition even after Whang Od passes on (knock on wood). Her face spelled innocence but I didn’t doubt her or her ability although we spent more than an hour finishing the piece and I was bleeding profusely during the process.
I dozed off the rest of the day after I was done with my tattoo. I was spent. The tattoo-making didn’t really hurt as much. It was the pain after it was finished that got me good. A few hours after I had it, my arm was red and swollen. I could barely move it. It was unbelievably painful and it felt heavy on my shoulders. No matter how much I tried not to think about it, I couldn’t ignore the sting. It’s the kind of pain far more annoying and persistent than a toothache. It stressed me out no matter how much I compose myself and remain calm. It throbs with every breath I took. I had tattoos before but they didn’t bother me one bit so I began to ask whether this Batok tattoo should really hurt this much. I wanted to know. I longed to talk to someone but I didn’t want to come out as rude or inconsiderate. So I stayed silent, kept things to myself, and endured the pain, thought of it as the consequence of my actions.
The following morning, I left with a heavy heart. I came to love the village and it was hard to say goodbye. Along with my sadness comes the fact that my arm was sorer than before. It was more painful and heavier, and I couldn’t swing it while I walked. I had to support it with my other arm just so I could make the pain bearable. I went on to tour Sagada afterward for another two days. I learned to tolerate the pain as the days went by. My arm still hurt when I got back to Manila. It was still swollen all over. Days passed and the swelling subsided little by little until the only part that protruded was the tattooed area. Right then, I noticed that Apo Whang Od’s tattoo didn’t really hurt but only the Fern tattoo. A week passed and the scab from the two tattoos started to fall off. I didn’t put anything on both the tattoos after they were done. I only washed it with mild soap to keep it from infections. The only time I put petroleum jelly was when the skin started to dry and itch.
Two weeks passed from when I got both the tattoos, and the scabs already fell off. Apo Whang Od’s tattoo has almost healed but the Fern tattoo was only healed from the outside. It was still sore and delicate to the touch. I kept observing the tattoos. A month later, Apo Whang Od’s tattoo was completely healed but the other one was not even close. It started to flatten a bit but small bumps started to manifest. What’s even worse was that the little bumps would swell as if they were pimples and would pop open after 3-5 days. A soft, yellowish discharge would then come out and would leave a gap in my skin. At first, I wasn’t really bothered since they resemble my pimples. I don’t usually get scars from my pimples no matter how big they get so I thought it was the same for the bumps in my Kalinga/Batok tattoo.
My struggle with the pimple-like bumps went on for another two months. It didn’t really help that I barely had time to have it checked as I was out traveling the entire time. It is now three months from when I got my Batok tattoo and it hasn’t fully healed yet. I wanted to see a doctor so I could get some answers but the entire country suddenly went on lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Right now all I could do is sit idly in my room and stare at the numerous holes in my tattooed arm. I would sometimes scan the internet hoping to find the answers but to no avail. I really wish this would be over soon. I hope for the bumps to disappear and allow my skin to completely heal before I lose my mind. It is not the tattoo being unsightly that really frustrates me but the fact that I could not understand why it happened.
I couldn’t think of any anomaly in my body that would cause this. I heal pretty quickly. I don’t have skin problems other than the pimples I get when I have my period nor any skin conditions that would warrant this dilemma. I don’t have prominent scars. I don’t have keloids. The two deepest wounds I got from two different surgeries were barely noticeable. Whatever this is, it definitely isn’t because of me. Or if it is, I just want to know. I don’t want to resent this tattoo. I cherish the beautiful memories I have in Buscalan, especially my precious time with Apo Whang Od. I really hope to understand why my awesome Batok tattoo has to be tainted by something so despicable. Until the time I get my answers, in my mind, this will remain the absolute worst.
UPDATE
Two years after I got my batok tattoo, the wounds are completely healed but the holes are still there. They’ll never go away unless I intentionally get them removed through scar removal treatment and/or surgery. Doctors had given me mixed findings about my case but they were unanimously against batok tattoos as they can easily be a source of infection. Still, I won’t advise against it but would recommend seeing a doctor before getting tattoed. This is to ensure that you don’t have any underlying skin conditions which might intervene in your tattoo healing process. Also if you experience any discomfort or notice pus and swelling after getting a tattoo, don’t hesitate to get yourself checked.
32 Comments
I just have my signature tattoo by Apo Whang Od last Monday (July 24, 2023). And may I ask if its natural or okay kung yung scab ay accidentally na remove but not totally kung wala pa siyang one week? May tendency po ba na hindi maging visible yung blank ink? Since most of the ink ay na bump don sa scab?
Hi Mary. We will never know until gumaling yung tattoo. Yung modern tattoo pati yung traditional normally makikita mo lang yung outcome kapag fully healed na sya.
My vote is that it was an allergic reaction. That would explain the quick onset of the swelling and pain and then the pustules a little better than an infection. Even though it’s controversial, I’ve found that cortisone cream works well to calm the reaction and get a smoother final result. If a doctor can sign off that it’s not infected, that’s even better, and a little antibiotic cream along with the cortisone can help too. Even though it’s been over a year, if you’re really diligent about moisturizing the skin (aloe vera, cocoa butter, shea butter, olive oil, or coconut oil), you still might see a slow reduction in the size of the scarring (but I don’t think the blown out ink will change, unfortunately). I had a HUGE scare on my ankle from an accident with a goat and a jute rope, but after 10 years, the scar is only about 1/3 the original size and much flatter and matching my skin tone better. Good luck! Thanks for sharing such a cool story of your travels. 🙂
Hi T. Thanks for sharing and for the advice. I also use cortisone cream on my tattoos. It helped. I also used a scar removing cream which my dad used for his surgery scar but it didn’t do anything. I agree with taking care of it by moisturizing it consistently which I’m doing but whether or not it gets better doesn’t concern me anymore. I’m all okay. I no longer resent this tattoo. Just like what I wrote on this blog, I only wanted to understand. After I had my answers, I felt better.
Just got the same tattoo as yours a little over a week ago. Na-infect din sya. Nag-teleconsult ako and ang sabi ng Dr, may allergic reaction din. My skin is tying to push out the ink. Had anti-biotic din for 7 days. Now, the scabs are slowly natatanggal and faded na yung tatto. Medyo nakakakungkot lang kasi first tattoo ko ito and probably last din. Sa may ankle area pala sakin and I can’t almost walk for a few days and parang manas sa maga. Mabuti nanlang din sa ankle area at madali i-hide. Napansin ko din sa mga tattoo ng locals dun may holes ung iba.
Hi Dennis. Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope you’re feeling better now. Good thing you got yourself checked. I know it wasn’t very pleasant for your first tattoo but give it a chance. Usually the tattoo fades during the healing process but its color will come back once your skin fully heals. Good luck and take care.
Looks like a) Infection (Needle or in this case the thorn, Ink, or the food you ate) AND
b) Petroleum Jelly or a combination of both.
Hi, I just got a tattoo from one apo whang ods grand daughter last saturday cause theyre here in Calamba last week, super maga at parang nag nana po sakin, kamusta na po yung tattoo nyu ngayun pwede ko po ba makita ang fully heal picture ng tattoo nyo? Salamat po
Hi Allan. My tattoo is the same as the last photo on this article when it was fully healed. The holes are there and they’re yet to go away. I suggest that you see a doctor if your tattoo is still soar and has pus coming out.
Girrllll your tattoo got infected. As much as I appreciate their work for tattoos and the fact that they use the traditional method, there just isn’t much practice on sterilization. Yes, they may use a new thorn for every person but does the thorn itself get sterilized? What about the the bowl that they mix the charcoal and water in? There are a lot of anomalies to their steralization process which may have caused your infection. Definitely check with a doctor if you can because pus coming out during the healing process is definitely not normal.
Hey Joanne! Thanks for sharing your insight. I’ve seen a doctor a little too late due to the restrictions caused by the pandemic. The tattoo has already healed with only the scars left. And yes, doc said it was either an infection or an allergic reaction.
Hi. never use petroleum jelly. traditional or electric tattoo, mainit ang petroleum jelly. Water lang and wag kakamutin. keep it moisturize apply ka unscented lotion. nung nag pa tats ako ke apo napaka kati pero tiniis kolang. baka ang nanyari sayu open wood kasi sya na infect and na irritate. hope you feel better na emotional and physically. 🙂
Hello. Thank you for the advice. I’ve always used pet jelly on my other tatts and nothing like this happened nman. Pero I will stir clear of it the next time I get inked. Maybe the hand tapped tattoo (batok) just penetrated deeply unto my skin. Okay na rin nman ako about it. Thanks for checking in. 😊
If I may ask: Did you get that tattoo done by a person in the same bloodline as Whang Od? I’ve read multiple stories that state how adamant Whang Od is that the tradition must be kept within her bloodline, hence why she taught her grandniece. She says if someone else does it the tattoo becomes “infected.” It’s what their culture believe.
Hi. I didn’t bother to ask if she was from her bloodline. I was more into supporting tradition as I was told that girls in the village were being trained to keep it alive. I don’t think it has something to do with that though. Doctors said my skin might have allergic reaction to the materials used in the tattoo. Could also because, it penetrated deeper onto my skin. It wasn’t just me who experienced this. Many others got it worse when I shared about this online.
Hi! We have the same tattoo, it was also done by one of the girls back then. Mine even had bruise for few days. I am a keloidal person and I also have small bumps on mine but the bumps flatten in time. I had mine last March 2019. One of the advise there was not to get it wet for few days so few hrs before we start the session the guide asked us to take a bath. No petroleum jelly just let it heal on its own. 🙂 Mild unscented lotion to moisturize.
Hello Mia, Thank you for sharing your experience. The bumps on mine turned into wounds and eventually scarred but I don’t regret it one bit. I think Batok tattoo is not for everyone. Especially those with sensitive skin or with skin conditions they might not be aware of. I have others shared that even after following the suggested after care, they still ended up with holes and scars. Some were even worse. So my advise would be to see a doctor first but I have nothing against those who are willing to risk it.
Hi po, just stumbled on your blog! Kamusta po ang tattoo niyo? Planning ein po magpabatok, do you have any tips on the healing process?
Salamat 🙂
Hello Pia. Okay na yung tattoo ko pero the holes are still there. Scar na sila but it’s fine by me. I suggest that you get your tattoo from one of the grand daughters of Apo Whang Od kasi for me mas magaan kamay nila. Pero siempre depende pa din sa skin mo ang healing. don’t wash it for at least 24hrs. Many swear by petroleum jelly pero wag na lang. Use another non scented moisturizer. Also, the soap should be mild din. Just keep it moisturized and don’t scratch pag kumati. Pag nagkaroon ng pus wag pisain at consult your derma na agad.
hi! how’s the tatts now?
Hello Jherdy. It’s all healed but the holes are still there. 😊
Hi there. Give it time. Mine had holes too before. Remember they use pomelo thorn, so it’s quite big compared to traditional electric tattoo needle. And mine took years before it like healed 100%. Like. Even if it doesn’t hurt and it looks healed, when I touch it before I can feel that there are dried wounds. I just kept on putting. Lotion omit like cetaphil. Something mild. Keep your hopes up and give it some time. Because it doesn’t really heal 100% that fast.
Oh and, those holes I mentioned that mine had, disappeared after a while.
Thanks Janis. I learned to live with it somehow and I don’t despise it anymore. It hasn’t gone better though but it’s fine. Thought I just wanna understand this so I can also make others aware of it.
Hi. I also got tattoed in Kalinga. Remember that a tattoo is a scar, a scar must not always be getting wet or covered. Ang nangyari sakin di ko sya masyadong binabasa and wash after a week or before taking a bath i will put virgin coconut oil in it para di sya mabasa (VCO is what kalinga tribes recommend). I think yung nangyari sayo is nainfect sya based on what you describe sa outcome ng tatt mo. And yun nga based on google don’t ever apply petroleum jellies on tattoos so i think the best pa rin is organic which is VCO.
Thank you for sharing. ☺️
I dream of having a tattoo done by Apo Whang-od. My first tattoo artist recommended using Aquaphor’s healing ointment instead of any type of petroleum jelly, it keeps the scars from itching too much but also lets the tattoo breathe (which petroleum jelly doesn’t). Also, wash it with Dial’s unscented, antibacterial bar soap to keep it clean and free of infections (though, this info might’ve provided more when the tattoo was still fresh). Other than that, it’s best to leave it as is, and refrain from picking at it of course.
Hand-tapped tattoos are also challenging because the artist shouldn’t penetrate too deep into the skin, which might have been what happened with your fern tattoo, also explaining why it hurt so much compared to the one done by Apo.
I hope I could have provided you with a few answers & a little bit of help 🙂
Hi Jae. Thanks for the info. Much appreciated. ☺️
I hope it heals completely already! You’re so brave for getting inked. I can only dream of it since I’m prone to keloids 🙁
Hi Hazel,
Thank you. I hope it gets better too. And you don’t have to feel bad if you can’t get a tattoo. You can still cherish and have fun with other things. ☺️
Hi, I’m an avid follower of your blog! 🙂 My bf also have a kalinga tattoo and it also has holes altho not as bad as yours. He took great care of it and applied virgin coconut oil to keep it moisturized. I also read about similar experiences. Hope you can update us with this one!
Can’t help but blush coz of your comment Kath. That’s so nice of you. Thanks for sharing about your hubby’s tattoo. Will definitely be back with some update about mine soon. ☺️